The Next Shift

If you’re following along on my wild journey via Facebook or Instagram, you know I have been bopping around South and Central America hitting 5 countries in 3 months. My next move may surprise you, or maybe it won’t at all! 

Before this trip began, I had an idea in mind-I would find a country I am absolutely in love with, and I would stay awhile.

I’ve explored the mountains of Peru.I spent time in the most notorious city in Colombia.I was on the gorgeous coast and islands of Panama. I stayed in amazing beach towns in Costa Rica.I’ve enjoyed more beautiful beaches in Nicaragua. I have visited some amazingly beautiful places, and made great friends along the way. I am so glad I decided to explore the Americas! 

More importantly than my hunt for the most gorgeous beach, I have really been searching to be a part of something bigger than myself. I have been craving a new sense of purpose, and an evolved reality. 

This trip has provided me opportunities to dive into multiple forms of self exploration: past life regression hypnosis, energy healing, a sacred medicine ceremony, and many forms of yoga. Now, I am looking to take my learnings and take one giant leap forward. 

There is a magical place in this world I have already found this overwhelming sense of belonging and evolution. A place that changed my life for the better, so I am going back!

Thailand 

I have been looking for my Thailand, and nothing quite compares in my eyes.

So Honey, I am coming home! 

Unlike my “No Plan Plan” in South America-I do have a plan for Koh Phangan, Thailand. 

Wat Kow Tham 

Two years ago I attended a vipassana mediation retreat at Wat Kow Tham. Spending 10 days in silence at this amazing monastery changed my life forever. The sheer joy one experiences from mediating all day and not speaking a word is something I feel everyone should experience if they get the opportunity. It is time for me to go again to feed my mind, body and soul. 

Ananda Yoga Teacher Training

All the stars have aligned. The universe has been working to deliver multiple messages that this is my next big move. 

It became crystal clear to me after missing an evening yoga class here in Nicaragua. A few of my hostel mates and I went to the other side of town only to realize the yoga studio we were looking for no longer existed. 

After eating dinner and enjoying a few passion fruit mojitos, my friend Veronique and I came back to the hostel and I led us in an impromptu yoga class outside. 

Now I am no pro, let me tell you. I have only been practicing regularly for about a year in a half. Yoga has become such a powerful healing tool for me. Yoga has kept me grounded and allowed me to tap into deeper layers of my soul. I knew one day I would absolutely take a teacher training course, but didn’t feel ready yet. 

After this fateful evening at my hostel in Nicaragua, with one brave willing participant, I realized I AM ready now. There is nothing holding me back but myself. 

I am eagerly ready to learn, and eventually share the gifts I have received from so many amazing yoga teachers. I have been blessed with the opportunity to practice under so many beautiful souls, the idea of trying to do what they do is a little bit scary, I must admit! 

A few things this journey has taught me is to follow my heart, trust my gut, and throw doubt out the window. So that’s what I am going to do. Trust my intuition and know I am ready for this next shift. My 200 hour teacher training is step one. 

I am creating my new reality. The best part: I fly home on Christmas Day and get to spend 3 weeks at home in Sacramento before my flight out of San Francisco! 

I will be catching up with loved ones, repacking my bag, studying for my training, and waiting for my Thai visa to arrive! 

See you soon Cali ❤️

Follow me on Instagram for updates! 

Here’s the Deal

Many people ask me how I am living this life. Quitting my job in America, again, and roaming the world freely. 

Some assume I inherited money. 

Other assholes assume I am being funded by a sugar daddy. 

Just to set the record straight-neither are true. 

Want to know the secret? 

I worked my butt off for a whole year to save up-that’s it folks! 

I worked a full time job while driving Lyft on the side before, and after my shifts to make it happen! 

After staying in Thailand for 6 months in 2016, while living out of a bag I packed for a two week vacation, I realized there were so many expensive things back home I was addicted to. Things I formed an attachment to that were no longer serving me once I realized how little I needed to be truly happy. 

It became apparent that most of my adult life I had been filling a void with these things I thought were making me happy. If anyone challenged me that some of the things weren’t necessary for my existence, I would swear to the ends of the earth I still needed these things to survive. 

I had started to form my identity off these things, it was how I lived my life, it was all I ever knew, and it was ridiculous. 

I would justify for hours that I needed a whole new outfit every weekend if I was going out.

I needed my acrylic nails and hair extensions. 

I needed to go out to happy hour and dinner at least three time a week.

I needed the hottest new lipstick shade and the most expensive eyeliner. 

I needed to go on that weekend Vegas trip every few months. I felt so liberated realizing I didn’t need these things at all. In fact, chasing them was just making me miserable.

It finally hit me, if I eliminated these silly needs from my life I could actually save quite a decent amount of money and take a meaningful trip of a lifetime. And that’s exactly what I did. 

Don’t get me wrong, I still had fun while I back home in the states this past year. This time, I was just actutely aware of every dollar. I made sure to be extremely conscious of what I was spending. 

By being aware that I didn’t need to shop, eat out often, or pamper myself I shifted my priorities and went into full on “save mode”. 

As I am here on the road, I live day to day very consciously and as if I don’t have money. I’m not flat broke, but I’m definitely not rich. 

The goal is for my funds to take me as far as possible, and for that to happen I have willingly made sacrifices. 

The thing is, I don’t see these sacrifices as just giving something up, I am gaining so much more by letting a few things go. I want to feel fulfilled with every dollar I spend. 

I am not in vacation mode. I am in traveler mode. Travel mode is much different than doing tours all day, drinking Mai Thai’s on the beach, all while wearing my brand new sundress. 

Hey, I’m not knocking vaycay mode! I’m just pointing out there is quite a difference.

Allow me to explain travel mode.

My ideal budget is $10 a day, not including travel costs (ie: bus/flights) or extra add on activities (i.e: Machu Picchu). 

$10 in the perfect world would equal $5 on accommodation, and $5 on food. Breakfast is preferably included in the stay, so I just need one more meal and a few snacks (ie: chocolate) to get me through the day. 

Spending $15-$20 a day has been more realistic so far, $10 on accommodation, and then other $10 for food. I was most recently in Costa Rica, which is more expensive than I would like when it comes to food and activities. 

I’m not completely limiting myself, there are things I will invest in. I have splurged on the fancier bus, the convenient taxi, a sushi dinner…but these are the exception, not that rule. 

Here at a few examples of what my travel mode looks like:

My excursions are limited

I don’t do the typical tourist adventuring unless it’s free or cheap. I pick and choose my activities wisely before engaging because I can’t do it all. I stick to the free activities like hikes and beaches, with activities I have to pay for just sprinkled in. 

I can experince the country by just being there and exploring on my own each day rather than always having a planned excursion. Hey, all I need is a beach and some good company and I am a happy camper! 

I am crossing countries via bus 

In the beginning of my trip I spent and lost wayyy to much money on flights. Unfortunately, there was a situation in Peru where I was not able to board a flight to Colombia because I didn’t have an exit flight booked. Traveling you hear about these nightmare urban legends, but it happened to me! Needless to say, I wasn’t able to board the plane. Lost out on $400 while having to book another $400 flight in the process. Painful! 


Buses are the cheapest way to travel, but definitely not the most glamourous. I have been packed into a 12 person van with 15 people. I have had to stand up during a 30 minute ride in a school bus that was winding through crazy roads. I have been in 85 degree heat, with leather seats, and no AC. I have been stuck on a bus for 3 hours with no bathroom stop until I cried to the bus driver to pull over for me. But, it’s the cheapest way to go, so I’m in! 

Eating like a college kid (sometimes)

When it comes to food I can be a health nut, but out here it is all about balance. I usually crave a huge salad, veggie burger, or a burrito most days. There are some days I eat out and enjoy glorious meals, other days I eat ramen noodles and PB&J, or just fruit. It’s ever changing, but the common theme is my meals are basic and therefore cheap. I’m all about the value when it comes to the grub!

I enjoy few and far between personal space 

I am staying in hostels for accommodation. For those not familiar with hostels outside the horror movie, let me explain. 

Hostel rooms are dorms with anywhere from 4-16 bunks beds in a room. So just like summer camp, it is completely shared space. These rooms usually have 1-2 shared bathrooms inside, or outside the room. Sometimes the shower and toilets are literally outside. 

Luckily, I am able to build myself a fort if I get the bottom bunk, it’s almost like my own room!

 

I am hand wash my clothing 

Laundry is one of the most annoying expenses, you don’t even have to think about it at home when you have a washer and dryer in your place. It’s not always cheap to get a load of laundry done. It could cost anywhere from $2-$10 a kilo. Crazy! 

I try to hand wash my clothes once, and then take to the laundry the second time. I still enjoy that “fresh out of the dryer” crispness! I bought an amazingly convenient clothesline that I can hang from the dorm bed posts to dry my laundry after washing with detergent in the sink. Mom would be proud! I’ve it said before, it’s not all glitz and glam on the road! I have had to make decisions about what is important to me and what I want to accomplish while traveling. I know now I enjoy the simple things in life and the times I have to rough it are often the most memorable.

I worked hard to save up, and I am sacrificing the glamour for the experiences of a lifetime. I wouldn’t trade it for anything else! 

If you have ever considered taking your own trip and have questions about how to make it happen, I’m here to answer as best I can! 

Turning 30

I am always striving to be the best version of myself, especially at this juncture in my life.

I am about to turn 30 years old in a few days, and I find myself thinking back to how I envisioned my life would be at this point. 


Like most children, I was conditioned to believe at 30 I would have a booming career, white picket fence in the ‘burbs, a happy marriage, and children at the “old” age of 30. 

In my teenage years, I realized I would prefer to have a booming career, retro apartment in a big city, a few casual boyfriends, and a small dog. 

Days away from 30 and I am currently unemployed, living out of a suitcase in South America, in a long distance relationship, with no dependents of any kind. 


Funny how that works right? 

The beauty is I have chosen to defy the social norms and try something new- just to see how it suits me. Why not? I mean I am only 30 for goodness sakes! I have the whole world ahead of me, and I know that now! 

On the same token, I am “technically” an adult. I know I have responsibilities as a citizen, but I also know they are different than the ones society has always tried to press upon me. 

The general public in my country says I “should”:

Own property, or else I am irresponsible.

Pick a career and stick with it, or else I’m lazy.

Procreate asap, or else I am selfish. 


I understand why people feel the pressure from our matrix-like culture to run on a hamster wheel and just do what “everyone” else is doing, just because “everyone” is doing it. The pressure is unreal to conform to societies ideals. Most people don’t want to feel like the black sheep, or go against the grain because it feels so taboo to not be widely accepted. 

I say fuck it. 

I want to try something different and see what happens! Because I know there is a better way. Other people have found this improved quality of life, and I want it too. 

Recently it has become “trendy” to travel. But it’s not only for the instagram content, despite what it may seem sometimes.  It is also not just about ditching responsibility and aimlessly traveling the world.

Nomands and expats are on a misson because we have realized there is SO much to experience on the road outside the four walls of our hometown. The momumental impact travel has on your spirit truly is priceless. 

Yes, I have some awesome photos, and yes I am having a blast everywhere I go. But there is so much more to what I am doing than just what social media portrays. It is about the personal journey


It is about self growth.

It is about spirituality.

It is about a wider education of the world.

It is about freeing onseself from confinement. 

It is about connecting with different people. 

It is about a freedom that can’t even be described, because you must feel it.

I have made the conscious decision that my 30’s aren’t going to be about obtaining the things people think I “should” have. 

I know I’ll be going back to America eventually, and I know I’ll need a job and a place to live. I know I’ll have a relationship, and eventually children, and the dog. But for now, my goals are coming from a different angle.

My goals are to be the best person I can be.

To have a career that serves my higher purpose.

To take better care of my mind, body, soul.

To feel inner peace.

To deal with all my internal shit.

To shrink my ego.

To surround myself with like minded people.


I am working on a new complex piece of myself every single day out here on the road. Uncovering more and more about myself through every experience.

One day I am learning patience, when dealing with loud ass roommates in my dorm.

The next day, I am diving deep into a hypnosis and past life regression session to learn more about distant energies I may be holding onto. 

After that, I learn I REALLY need to stop eating junk food because I am sick to my stomach after stupid late night chocolate and chips cravings. Am I ever going to learn my lesson on this one??

Then, I wake up and read my book on nueroscience and how to refire my brain to be happy and manifest what I desire. 

At night, I go out to a bar only to understand drinking and dancing on bars no longer feels “good” like it did at 21. I feel like a wreck. 

Then, I yogi out, write in my journal, and reflect on my feelings. 

Next, I zen out and meditate all day while fasting. I then embark on a natural medicine ceremony that opens up a whole new dimension and awakens a new part of my soul I’ve been avoiding.

The next day, I get into a sticky situation at the airport where I feel unsafe and scared, and need to find a solution quickly to avoid being stranded only to have a nervous breakdown and need to learn how to deal with it. 


I am more consciously aware then ever before that every experience is a new lesson molding me into the person I want to be, if I chose to learn from them that is. 

I am about to be 30, and I view this current chapter as a sacred time to truly shape who I want to be for the rest of my life. 

This journey for me is to learn about the inner depths of my soul so that I can use that as fuel to hopefully inspire others to do the same. 

I constantly want to grow, I constantly want to be better. Not better for my ego, but better for the world. 

Without Seeking 

Try to live today without seeking

Walk the streets without hoping 

Miss a soul without longing

Love without looking 

Allow without holding

Stop trying to achieve perfection

You are already perfection 

These are reminders to myself 

LIVE 

Day in and day out I find myself needing to take a pause. A pause to ensure I am not externally seeking. 

There are so many questions I would love to have all the answers to:

What am I supposed to be doing with my life right now? 

What do I want my career to be?

What kind of person do I want to be? 

Where do I want to live? 

Who do I want to surround myself with? 

There are many externals ways in which I find myself seeking for the answers to these questions. I have no problem admitting that one of my biggest fears in life: making the wrong decision. 

Sounds silly right? It’s inevitable that I will make a decision that may not be the best choice presented- I can guarantee it has already happened countless times! I am a true believer that everything happens for a reason. 

Even then, for some reason I still can’t help but feel like I need to go on quests to find the “right path”.

How do you like that contradiction? 

I believe everything happens for a reason and I whole heartedly need to surrender myself to that.

What I do know, is everything I am looking for is here in the moment. The more I seek, the more I miss. It’s not about the search, it’s about the now.

I am learning not to seek. 


WALK
If there is anything I have learned over the past few years it is to follow my internal compass, it is the best possible form of GPS. 

We all know the phrase “follow your heart.” 

Well, your internal compass is the direction your soul is pointing you. 

Your internal compass leads you moment by moment-and it’s up to you to listen.

Have you ever had a feeling you shouldn’t go down a certain street, and you do it anyway? Only to have your phone pick pocketed or something equally as traumatic? 

Or the complete opposite, you make a gut decision to go right instead of left and end up meeting an amazing new friend you never would have crossed paths with otherwise? 

Follow your internal compass, it knows the way. 


MISS 

Living life on the road there are so many people I miss back home. I have the best family, I’ve surrounded myself with amazing friends, and then there is also the one who has my heart. 

While I miss everyone at home, I know whole heartedly I am supposed to be here right now. I can’t get caught up in longing for who (or what) I don’t have in front of me. I have everyone in my heart and that is enough! 

LOVE 

Loving without judgment is one of the most beautiful human actions of all. The feeling of love is the most amazing of them all. To be able to meet someone and have an instant connection regardless of predjucices, whether it be a plantonic love or a passionate fury. 

I’ve always been very against long distance relationships, from what I understand they never work. That’s a block I’ve had in my head for as long as I can remember. Which would make it very fitting that when I decided I was going to travel, I also decided my romantic relationship was going to end. 

A series of fateful, beautifully romantic events led me to experience a change of heart and embark on a type of relationship I never envisioned myself in. 

Has it been difficult? Yes! But to feel these warm and fuzzy feelings while still (miles) away, my heart has opened up in ways I never knew were possible. I see now that I don’t need someone right in front of me to feel unconditional love. 


ALLOW 

I like to believe the universe is in control of what is around the corner for us. We have the free will to follow our internal compass, or not. Our compass will always lead us to our higher purpose, we just have to trust and allow our destiny to present itself. 

It is important to accept what the universe has to offer without holding onto any preconceived notions of what we “expect” it to be. 

Stop seeking perfection


You already are perfection. 

Sound Before the Shift

I wrote this one month before leaving for Asia.  I never planned to share these private thoughts but looking back, this helps explain what lead me to this major shift in my reality and I think it’s important to share.

“There is so much noise out there in the world. So much to hear, process, and remember.

 I have always been an extremely auditory person. I associate deeply with sound. So many different sounds.

Music is tremendously influential to most, we associate so many memories a song or soundtrack. One of my favorite assignments in college was when my teacher assigned the class to make the soundtrack of our lives. We picked 10 songs and wrote an essay explaining each track and what it meant to us. I had so much fun reflecting on what certain songs meant to me. I now look back and recognize songs I associate with my life-this soundtrack is growing every day.

I recall that assignment often and have since made a current ‘Soundtrack of my Life,’ which is significant as it speaks to who I am as a person. 

I have never learned to master any instruments. I experienced a quick, terribly awful stint playing the flute in 4th grade. Eventually I was switched to procession, which back then meant banging a drum every 10 beats or shaking a tambourine because that was the only thing I could handle without screwing up. I just wasn’t born to be a musical performer.

Singing is also a talent I sadly was not blessed with. I, not so arguably, have the worst singing voice on this entire planet. If there was an Anti-American Idol contest I would win hands down. Yet, I still find an obsession in karaoke. Even with this cognizance, I am somewhere fearless when you place me on stage with at least two other voices drowning me out. Deep down I have rarely ever felt true embarrassment, which is why I can walk out of a karaoke performance wish zero shame. It just makes me happy!

Aside from my inability to start a rock band or try out for American idol tomorrow, music is my life. Why is this?

The things that I hear instantly affect how I feel. 

I am acknowledging how everything I hear impacts me so much, on a conscious and unconscious level. Whether it is noticed or not, everything I hear daily is dictating my every move.

 I am a subliminal advertisers dream!

What am I actually listening to daily?

I hear the voice of my mind, I hear the voice of my heart, and I hear the soundtrack of my life.

The voice of my mind is always at battle with my heart. Which voice is which? Who do I listen to?  Isn’t it so funny how the mind and heart always seem to be like the ‘angel’ on one shoulder and ‘devil’ on the other?  They never seem to be in complete agreement on any given issue.

The mind is all about logic, but can often overthink and confuse things.

The heart is pure, open, and free. The heart is also the quietest of all voices and the hardest to hear. To hear the heart you must take the time to be silent and listen.

Then there is the voice of my ‘ego.’ That little bitch has such a loud voice, she is such an attention whore. She will often overpower all other voices. She lives in my mind, but is another voice entirely. She doesn’t want what is best for me, she just wants attention and doesn’t care where it is coming from. I am learning to ignore her, which isn’t easy in a world where many people around me are being ruled by their own egos.

There are so many external voices and opinions that speak so loudly too. Often they seem like the voice of reason; but sometimes they are just another voice speaking over the sound of the heart. I hear the voices of my family, my teachers, my friends, even my enemies.

I once was in a relationship where I listened to the outsiders views more than my own- completely ignoring the sounds of my heart. Everyone thought he was perfect and thought we were perfect. My friends said, “You have it made! Every girls dream is to have a guy like that!”

So, I stayed with him because it seemed like the ‘right’ thing to do. Even though my heart always knew it was wrong all along. One day I woke up to my heart screaming at me, ‘STOP, end this right now!’ And I did. I listened. As sad as it was, since then I have only thrived.  This taught me I need to trust the voice of my heart when I hear it and not allow any other voices to influence me.

Why is it that listening is naturally one of the easiest things to do, but also one of the hardest when it comes to listening to ourselves?

The need to write my thoughts and my truth has always been there nudging me, yet it is like I shoved this need deep in a drawer and closed it shut.

Each word I shut down, each time I didn’t write, an idea was closed in the drawer. Well now it’s stuffed, and can’t be held shut any longer. This is why it has to all come out. One by one, then all at once.

Well, now my heart and mind are in agreement. And they are shouting at me like never before. ‘This is YOU time! There is so much you have to accomplish and it all starts NOW! Time to turn a new leaf missy!’

It starts with the writing. This is the start of recognizing the different voices of my mind, heart, and ego. This is the time to shut out every other voice but my own.

Where is this all going to lead? I don’t know. I guess that’s the beauty in the journey. All I can see is the staircase in front of me, and I know I am going up from here. In every self-help book or program there are steps, and the steps always start with recognition. Recognizing what is, and what needs to be. Well here it is:  

I’m ready. My mind is calm, my heart is open, and my ego is silent. I’m ready to be free, and to be me.

It is clear in hindsight looking back as I read these words that my soul maybe knew where I was going all along- and I am just now starting to figure it all out.  Although the circumstances and timing were not ideal, I know I am exactly where I need to be and I am finally listening to my heart.