Here I Am
Exactly six months ago I hopped on a plane.
The moment that plane took off I could feel in my bones that something big was about to happen.
I saw the entire outline of my journey play out in my mind on that plane.I knew my life was going to be forever changed. There was going to be so much more to this trip then soaring in the air and landing in a tropical vacation destination to party.
This was going to be different, I knew it. I felt the massive change coming on, I knew a shift was about to take place.
It started with fear.
What was I about to do?
Was I about to screw up my life by abandoning responsibly back home by following a feeling?
An intense feeling I had to stay, stay abroad-not to return home.
The initial fear of the unknown, fear of the “impossible” (insert massive air quotes there) luckily didn’t last long.
I discovered that all I ever need to do is follow these feelings-it is my intuition leading me.
The moment I let go of fear, the whole world started to unfold itself.
The moment I let go of ‘doing’ and started ‘being’ is when it all shifted.
The moment I stopped looking outside for satisfaction and took a deep look inside is when everything that was, has, and will be became so crystal clear.
I was always supposed to be right here.
Here, sitting on my multi colored tie dye sarong, right on the beach, with my bright pink chipped toenails buried in the sand. Right here, wearing my “Good Time Adventures Beach Hostel” sleeveless shirt XL that wears like a dress, my sun bleached hair in a messy bun on top of my head with bronzer skin and fresh face that hasn’t had a stitch of makeup in months.
I’ve never been happier in my life, I’ve never felt more whole.
Each string of moments in the last six months has led me to this absolutely perfect moment and I am eternally grateful.
My experiences have been out of this world (literally), and I have learned an infinite number of lessons along the way.
I have seen how other cultures live.
I have befriended unlikely suspects.
I have opened my eyes to many new spiritual experiences.
I have practiced everyday mindfulness.
I have adapted to many different conditions.
I have practiced non judging and acceptance.
I have learned to listen to my body.
I have become aware of my internal compass.
I have tapped into my intuition.
I have discovered what I am truly capable of accomplishing.
I have learned to let go.
And so much more.
Most importantly- I have learned to truly accept myself, and love myself unconditionally. I am ready to share my entire journey piece by piece-starting from the very beginning.
After the infamous “Eat, Pray Love” people love to make connections between Elizabeth Gilbert’s experience and my travels. I know this is nothing new to the travel culture, as her story inspired so many women to travel solo.
As a tribute to this, my journey can easily breakdown to three distinct parts as well.
“Beach, Beach, Beach”
Well not entirely-I really have spent the last six months living on islands with the beach as my backyard. It breaks down into four parts really.
It all started with spiritual and cultural exploration in Bali: meditation, mushrooms, Reiki healing, jungle trekking, nightmare travel, and squat toliets-to name a few.
Next, came the partying in Gili Trawangan and Koh Phi Phi: Joss shots, hostels, Australians, getting paid to party, beer pong, and pool parties.
Then, it was all about balancing fun, work, and self discovery in Koh Tao: Caturday, villa parties, Songkran, working in a hostel, renting paddle boards on the beach, spending time alone, observing more, digging deep into understanding myself and my actions.
Lastly, there is Koh Phangan-where my spiritual awkening has fully taken off: seven days in silence, meditation breakthroughs, yoga, rebirthing, more Reiki, cacao ceremony, astrology, insights, and so much more to come in the next few weeks.
Whatever you want to call it, these four progressional phases of my journey have brought me to the present moment, and continuing to bring me to my destiny.
I am currently coming into my last three weeks abroad were I am reflecting and enjoying every last moment.
I am in this moment with all of my heart.
My soul and been awakened and my spirit is on fire. I am present and aware.
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